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The Devil’s Big Plan for A-Rod

The Devil’s Big Plan for A-Rod

Monday morning is the day God and the Devil take a break from their worldly battles to rehash what went on in the world of sports over the weekend. God pounded on Satan’s office door but the music was so loud – Abba’s “The Winner Take All” – that the Devil himself didn’t realize he […]

Masahiro Tanaka Hurt & George Steinbrenner Loses It

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Masahiro Tanaka Hurt & George Steinbrenner Loses It

“Goddamnit, I got another fat toad on my hands!” screamed the late Yankees owner George Steinbrenner as he paced in God’s office high above Heaven’s Gate Field. “Calm down George,” said the Lord. “We both know Tanaka’s not fat.” “Calm down? After I just sank $155 million into this guy?” “First of all, you’re dead, so […]

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God & the Devil Talk Jeter, Hernandez

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God & the Devil Talk Jeter, Hernandez

Sports fans can look at the middle of April as real interesting – or real boring. Baseball’s finally underway, but the marathon’s just beginning. The NBA and NHL playoffs are just in the first round so the jewels and the fools have yet to be separated. And the NFL’s pretty quiet after a busy free […]

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George Steinbrenner Goes Nuts

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George Steinbrenner Goes Nuts

When the news reached Heaven, George Steinbrenner — known to millions of the living as “The Boss” went nuts. He sat in the front row next to the first base dugout at “Angels Field” in his trademark dark blue windbreaker and shades watching a pickup game between Joe DiMaggio’s “Clippers” and Phil Rizzuto’s “Holy Cows”. […]

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A-Rod Already Giving God a Migraine

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A-Rod Already Giving God a Migraine

It was late afternoon at the “Heavenly Fitness” gym and God stopped at the bench press station and took a knee. “How many sets today Moose?” he asked. The weightlifter raised the barbell and did another rep. “Oh, the sky’s the limit Father,” said the late Bill “Moose” Skowron, one of the unheralded stars of […]

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Chris Capuano Instead of Jon Lester?

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Chris Capuano Instead of Jon Lester?

“Bring it up a little,” said God as he tapped his spikes with his bat and took a practice swing. “What do ‘ya think about the Yankees signing Chris Capuano instead of Jon Lester?” Bob Feller made a face and went into his windup. The late Cleveland Indians Hall of Fame pitcher caught the Lord […]

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God To Cashman: “Shape Up Or Stay In The Street!”

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God To Cashman: “Shape Up Or Stay In The Street!”

 There was a soft knock at the door. “Come in,” said God. It was the Yankee Clipper Joe DiMaggio. The God of the universe and a baseball god shook hands. Yanks GM Brian Cashman was starting to annoy the Lord. “Please Joe, make yourself comfortable,” said the Supreme Being. DiMaggio, impeccably dressed in a black […]

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Farewell Mariano Rivera

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Farewell Mariano Rivera

Mariano Rivera made his final Yankee Stadium appearance Thursday and I’m ashamed to say I didn’t see it. More like I couldn’t see it. My plan was simple. Get home, toss a bag of frozen pasta into a pot, feed the cat and tune in what I thought would be a classic moment in sports history. […]

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Andy Pettitte Retires

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Andy Pettitte Retires

The end of days is – well a few days away for not only Mariano Rivera, but his long-time teammate Andy Pettitte. Pettitte  announced today that he’s retiring at the end of the season which looks like September 29th in his hometown of Houston. “I’ve reached the point where I know that I’ve left everything […]

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Yankees Head Back to the Ice Age

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Yankees Head Back to the Ice Age

The second “House that Ruth Built”, or actually the first one that Jeter built is starting to freeze over and it’s going to be a long time until it thaws out. In the mid-60’s the effects of losing genius GM George Weiss was felt a few years after he left.  Weiss, who was the architect of […]

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