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God, the Devil & Geno Smith

God, the Devil & Geno Smith

God stood up and pounded his fist on his desk. “Sacrilege! This Colonel Sanders is an insult to the chicken world!” His secretary Evelyn Lincoln buzzed him. “Everything OK in there pops?” she asked in her nasally voice. Just then the Devil whisked past her and into God’s office. “Did you see this joker?” asked […]

Devil Beaten to the Punch: Jets Hire Todd Bowles

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Devil Beaten to the Punch: Jets Hire Todd Bowles

Monday night means it’s Bowling Night in Hell and the Devil and his good pal Grigori Rasputin were up to no good. The master evildoer and the former adviser to the Romanov’s and to Jets’ owners Leon Hess and Woody Johnson watched as Benito Mussolini rolled the red and black ball down the lane. “Check this […]

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Woody Johnson Goes Snipe Hunting In Seattle

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Woody Johnson Goes Snipe Hunting In Seattle

Ring, ring…..The Devil, face down on his desk cringed in agony. “I’m never mixing Jack and Absinthe again.” He picked up. “What? God, can’t you let me be? Alright, I’ll be right up.” In a blazing flash he disappeared and reemerged — in God’s simple, cramped office sitting right across from him. The Lord leaned […]

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Was That Really Geno Smith in Miami?

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Was That Really Geno Smith in Miami?

It was just another quiet Sunday December morning in Heaven. In the Student Union Gandhi was in a heated ping pong match with Che Guevara; Paul Newman was hustling “The Big Bopper” at a nearby pool table and Johnny Unitas was sitting in front of the 2000-foot HDTV thumbing through the sports section shaking his […]

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God and the Devil Decide Who’s Naughty or Nice

God pointed to the 19″ black and white Zenith TV on his desk. “Look! Santa’s heading for Amman, Jordan. Damn, 2,789,544 gifts delivered and it’s only 3:06 pm eastern!” The Devil calmly flicked his cigar butt on the rug. “Oh yeah G-man? Watch this.” He clapped his ugly red claws twice and the Norad Tracker […]

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Devil: “Mark Sanchez – You Will Always Stink”

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Devil: “Mark Sanchez – You Will Always Stink”

A three yard touchdown pass from Mark Sanchez to Riley Cooper late in the second did it. The Devil fired a bag of popcorn off the flickering black and white TV screen. “Jackal!” he screamed. The extra point gave the Philadelphia Eagles a 14-10 lead over the miserable Washington Redskins in a game Philly desperately […]

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God to Jets Fans: “Don’t Count Rex Out!”

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God to Jets Fans: “Don’t Count Rex Out!”

There he was, the master of the universe sitting at his simple IKEA desk throwing back a handful of M&M’s and trash talking with the Devil. “Devil, as you know I have a dark side.” “Oh, I know. The Holocaust, the Crusades, the Armenians, the bubonic plague, Stalingrad, Hannah Montana, the…” “OK, shut up. Maybe […]

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Rob Ryan to Rex Ryan: “D’Oh!”

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Rob Ryan to Rex Ryan: “D’Oh!”

Round 10 between skinny Rex and hippie Rob was a pretty big surprise with Rex’s Jets beating twin bro Rob’s Saints 26-20. Rex has won 7 of 10 matchups against Rob. “All right, I beat my brother again. Just kidding,” Rex said with a laugh. “Yeah, there’s a little extra, but at the end of the […]

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The Sky Brightens for Jets Geno Smith

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The Sky Brightens for Jets Geno Smith

I didn’t think the Jets would win more than five games this season. Sure, there’s still a long ways to go and I could still be right, but last night’s game against the Falcons gave me visions of plums and fairies and all that holiday stuff dancing in my head for hours. I tossed and […]

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Geno Smith Will Start but Who Will Finish?

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Geno Smith Will Start but Who Will Finish?

Jets rookie quarterback Geno Smith will start Saturday against the Giants. But who will finish – I don’t mean who’ll finish their third preseason game – unfortunately we know the answer to that – but who’ll finish game 16 in Miami December 29th? The Jets say the competition between Sanchez and Smith is really close, but […]

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