Marshawn Lynch Gains a Fan Down Below

Filed under: God Talks Back,NFL |

“A little to the left Johnny.” The Devil steadied the ladder as the late serial killer John Wayne Gacy, dressed in full his full clown get-up straightened the name plate above the dingy, unoccupied cell. “I want to make him feel right at home when the time comes.”

John Wayne Gacy

Deadly Clown John Wayne Gacy

“But he’s only, what 28?” asked Gacy.

The Devil laughed. “Yeah, but time flies and before you know it “Beast Mode” will be dealing with some real beasts — if you get my drift.”¬†Gacy climbed down and wiped his grimy hands on his chest.

“Let’s get some brews,” said the master evildoer. So the two went into the office where Satan popped open two cans of “Milwaukee’s Best”. He handed one to Gacy and took a gulp. “Pure Heaven Johnny, Brew Town comes through again.” He threw back a handful of Skittles while Gacy took a swig and scratched his head.

“Hey boss, what makes you so sure he’s gonna end up down here with us?”

The Devil hit the VCR’s remote and on came Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch and one of his pre-Super Bowl “interviews”.


The Devil raised an eyebrow and Gacy nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I kinda get it now,” said the man who murdered 33 people in the 70’s.

“He’s a big shot now but give it a couple of years,” said the Devil. “Oh, almost forgot.” He dialed the old red rotary phone and God answered. “Big guy, D here. Hey listen, for the big game Sunday — my place or yours?…Got it, but ‘ya know if my boy Belichick comes through all Hell’s gonna break loose.”

Marshawn Lynch

Marshawn Lynch: The Devil makes plans


Posted by on January 30, 2015. Filed under God Talks Back, NFL. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.